For those still unfamiliar with what the concept stands for, it is basically the instance of two friends deciding to engage in s.e.x without taking it beyond that.
Regardless of the concept’s popular absence of emotions, the possibility that one or both of you will start catching feelings is pretty high.
Allowing these feelings to blossom changes things dramatically. Acting on them graduates the relationship from FWB to a proper relationship.
And that’s not OK unless, you both decide that that is what you really want. So how do you do friends-with-benefits without catching feelings?
1. Have a busy life
Just because you now have a FWB doesn’t mean that you should spend less time on your own hobbies, career, and social life. You’re only together to sleep together, so make sure your life away from him is full and happy. Don’t let the setup with your new “friend” get in the way.
Well, except this person works in the same place as you. That is an entirely different kettle of fish.
2. Have backup partners
When you suddenly find yourself dreaming about this FWB person and you know that it’ll end in tears because you have already agreed that no such thing will happen, you should withdraw. And withdrawal is not so easy when you have to be yourself, replaying the whole thing over and over again.
So it is better to have someone else, someone to provide emotional [maybe sexual?] cover when you need to move on quickly from that person rather than expressing a desire for a relationship you’re certain will never materialize.
3. No one needs those words of endearment
Romantic nicknames and pillow talk are only for couples who are in serious relationships, not for your FWB. Skip them altogether and let sex remain sex.
Stick to calling each other by your first names, and if you catch yourself slipping in a “babe” or “honey,” it may be time to organise goodbye sex and move on.
4. Shut down every date idea
The only time you want to be in the same space, being that close is when you actually want to come get the benefits you signed up for. Every other time should probably be in a circle of other times. Don’t play all those romantic game if you don’t want to catch feelings.
5. You’ll be tempted to treat them specially, don’t!
While your FWB deserves to be respected as a human and because you know, they’re your friend, don’t treat him or her as though what binds you together is more than sex. Be a decent human, and that should be it.
Don’t serve him food after your hook-up session. Don’t bend over backward to do stuff for her you would normally not do for any other babe. If you don’t catch feelings, they would.
All these things are actually easier said than done. So you know what would actually be lit AF? Avoiding FWB altogether or going into it with a mind to embrace all its glorious, orgasmic bliss and the emotional crash-landing that almost always occur in the end.
In other news – Somizi shames his daughter, Bahumi over her decision not to engage with ancestors
Mzansi media personality Somizi Mhlongo sat down with his daughter Bahumi to discuss her surname change and her belief to not engage with ancestors on the latest episode of his reality show, which aired on Showmax on Wednesday 29 June. Learn more