The women have opened up about their heartbreak and how they dealt with the noise around their partners’ cheating scandals. Enhle Mbali Maphumulo and Ntombezinhle ‘DJ Zinhle’ Jiyane have opened up about the cheating scandals involving their partners and how they dealt with them, in Maphumulo’s vodcast Yours Sincerely on TouchHD.
The vodcast, which is modelled on Jada Pinkett-Smith’s Red Table Talk, saw the two women having an honest conversation about how they navigated the world in the midst of the social media storm around their partners’ infidelities and why they decided to stay in the relationships.
Maphumulo said she went “through hell” when her husband’s cheating scandals were in the public, and also felt the need to comfort DJ Zinhle during AKA’s cheating scandal.
“I had gone through it and I knew how it felt and I know what media does to you when you’re going through hell. They celebrate it. I thought would it be strange if I call and say ‘hi, if you want a shoulder to cry on, I’m here’? I remember seeing how you were in that situation.
“It’s a bad space to find yourself in, especially to be going through it publicly. People don’t get that you love a person and it’s not about you. Right now let me live life the best way I know how,” said Maphumulo.
The DJ said though the scandal was painful, she did not have an issue with how public it went.
“I expected people to make fun of the situation because I had considered every worst-case scenario,” said Zinhle.
This helped her react to it in a way that felt comfortable to her.
Zinhle said though it was “tough” seeing AKA with Bonang Matheba after their break-up, she had to remove herself from the situation and move on with her life for the sake of her “sanity”. As a result, she did not think much of their break-up.
“I was in a relationship when they broke up. I was fine. It happened so many times so I just got used to the cycle of the break-up; so I just removed myself completely from that whole thing for my sanity.”
Zinhle said what also helped her heal was the realisation that her partner had taken nothing from her. He just wanted to be with someone else and that’s what he did.
“The father of my child being with me and loving me in that way was a separate thing from how he was with someone else. The lines are never crossed. It’s not like he took what was mine and gave it to her. That’s not how I looked at it; I felt like he wanted to be in a different place in a different way with someone else and that’s it.”
For Maphumulo, it was not so much the cheating that was the issue, but the constant lies and betrayal by the people she let into her life.
She said: “Cheating is an issue, but not as big as knowing you walked into the house and came from another woman’s house. You lied to me every single day and on top of that it’s the person we allow into our home and space. It’s the person I love and now I find out that you love them in that way.”
Despite the pain and feeling of betrayal, both women still went back to the people who hurt them.
Social media has constantly made fun of Zinhle for getting back together with AKA, who is also the father of her daughter, Kairo. Though she has been labelled “crazy” and “stupid” for it, Zinhle said she saw an opportunity to reconcile with her baby daddy and she took it because it’s what she wanted. The decision had nothing to do with her daughter either.
“I don’t rob myself of things that I want and can acquire. The decision to be with the father of my child has nothing to do with my child. It sounds pompous when I say I acquire the things I want, and I don’t rob myself of things that I will question later.
“If there is an opportunity for me and someone to reconcile and if I feel I want it, I will take a chance because I don’t want to question myself four years later. The fact that I want to try, the fact that I have a feeling that I want to try and that I want to be with this person, it’s what I want right now and I always go with what I feel and making the best decisions for myself right now.
“Tomorrow I might wake up and feel it’s a bad decision to be back with the father of my child. Tomorrow I might feel like it’s a great decision, but right now, being with the father of my child brings me joy and that’s what I want right now.”
For Maphumulo, she had to ignore the public noise and do what she wanted.
“I went through two cheating scandals. One there was a sex tape and one was just ratchetness, and I remember in my pain, tears and strength and silence I thought to myself, ‘Why do I care so much? Why do I want to listen to society saying he’s cheated on you twice, hamba? What is my heart saying? What is my spirit saying?’ And my spirit said: ‘You love him, sit your a** down and do what is right for you and your family.
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Source: The Citizen