Growing up, the movies we watched and the books we read shaped our mindsets on relationships in one way or another.
And even now in adulthood, they still have the power to influence our thinking even when we don’t realize it.
Basically, what we brush off as entertainment isn’t always merely entertainment.
It might sound absurd but there are people who have set their entire relationship expectations on a make-believe world based on what they see on TV.
For you to get the outcomes you really want in your love life, you have to grow up.
One of the reasons your relationships continue to fail could be blamed on your ridiculous standards and here is how to recognize the signs that you’ve been chasing the kind of love that doesn’t exist.
1. You’re fixated on finding “the one”
The idea of having that one person in the entire universe that is just meant for you might be real to some extent. But often, people use that idea to dismiss anyone that is less than perfect, and that means that everyone is disqualified, except maybe the top one percent of people.
This chase often leads to a long life of loneliness and relationship hopping so, if this describes you, you might need to change your perspective. The right person for you will probably come in a different package from what you’re desiring in your mind.
2. You still define love as a feeling
Romance movies often taught us that love is a sweet feeling when in reality, it is more than that.
If you want someone who gives you butterflies permanently, you won’t make it past the honeymoon phase. Real love sacrifices, it apologizes and most importantly, it is a decision that is not based on shifting feelings.
Think of how you’ve been defining love and if it’s based only on feelings of excitement, then you’re not being realistic.
3. You have couple goals expectations
Couple goals are based on an unachievable ideal. We’ve been shocked many times that some of the most popular ‘it’ couples like Bill and Melinda Gates or Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split up and still, we, find ourselves comparing our relationships to couples we don’t really know.
There are many ups and downs that every relationship goes through regardless of how many amazing photos they post online. This is something you need to remember if you tend to put unnecessary pressure on yours.
4. You’re constantly searching for relationship advice online
The internet is a place that offers us advice about everything under the sun. Unfortunately, a lot of it is bad advice and you could end up ruining a relationship that had potential.
If you need to hear real advice, consult someone who is older, is full of wisdom, is successfully married or is in a long term commitment and they know you well enough to tell you the truth and pinpoint your short fallings. This is better than filling your mind with unrealistic advice from random people all the time.
5. You think you’re the perfect catch
It is good to be confident about what you bring to a relationship. However, you can easily cross over into an egotistical kind of thinking especially when you’re not honest about your flaws.
So, if you believe that there’s nothing you need to work on or that it’s always an ex’s loss whenever you break up, it’s a sign.
