When it comes to the most stressful life events, researchers rank divorce as number two, right after the death of a spouse or child and before being imprisoned or having a health crisis—and for good reason. It goes without saying that ending a marriage can make you rethink everything you thought you knew about love—and sometimes, even, yourself. But, it shouldn’t prevent you from finding happiness with a new person. In fact, experts say that getting divorced in your 40s, or 50s, can actually improve the quality of your future relationships.
“I see one divorce as a good credential, actually,” says Fran Walfish, Ph.D., a relationship psychotherapist and consulting psychologist on The Doctors. “There shouldn’t be any shame in this. It can help you figure out what you really want in your next partner.”
Ready to meet people? Before you start dating, here are some ground rules for finding a match worthy of you in the Tinder era. Lust is nature’s way of tricking us into attachment, so be very judicious about who you keep in your dating pool and who you ‘throw back to the pond,” says Bela Gandhi, founder of Chicago-based matchmaking service Smart Dating Academy.
When returning to dating after a longtime monogamous relationship (particularly one that ended badly), craving the excitement of a spark-filled romance is understandable. But Gandhi says you shouldn’t discount a “slow burn.”
“Especially when we are dating after divorce, singles think immediate, blazing chemistry is the key thing to look for,” she continues. “Not true. Chemistry, especially for women, can grow over time—and may take many dates to begin to grow!”
It may sound counter-intuitive, but if they check every single box on your list, shower you with gifts, text or call all the time, push for quick commitment, make incredible promises, or want to be the only person in your life, you may be dealing with someone who is looking to control you.
That mind sound a little dramatic—and sure, there’s a chance you really have landed royalty—but Walfish points out that the harsh reality is there are a lot of people out there who aim to take advantage of women, and being in your 40s or 50s doesn’t make you immune.
In other news – Singer And Actress Samkelo Ndlovu Ventures Into New Business
Musician and Actress Samkelo Ndlovu has added businesswoman to the many caps she wears.
Samú took to Instagram to announce that she has started a Non Profit Organisation (NPO), The Samkelo Ndlovu Foundation in efforts lessen the effects of social injustices that affect the women and children of South Africa. Learn more
Source: oprahdaily
