Billie Eilish thinks she “tried too hard to be desirable”. The 20-year-old singer showcased a radical change of image when she shed her baggy clothes and dyed her green hair blonde to pose on the cover of British Vogue magazine last summer in a pink silk corset but now she feels very detached from the pictures and was horrified by some of the backlash she received. She reflected to Sunday Times magazine: “No matter what you do, it’s wrong and right.
“Wearing baggy clothes, nobody is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlovable and unsexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough.
“Then you wear something more revealing and they’re, like, you’re such a fat cow w****.
I just decided who I was. I just became that vibe. And I don’t know if that was necessarily what I really was feeling. I was just grasping on to anything.
“I honestly don’t feel desired, ever. I do have this worry that I felt so undesirable that I may have occasionally tried too hard to be desirable. It makes me sad to think about. But the “Ocean Eyes” singer now has a much more “solid” confidence in herself.
“In the past couple of months I feel far more solid in who I am. I feel different now, like I’m desirable. I feel like I’m capable of being as feminine as I want to be and as masculine as I want,“ she said.
And Billie views her body as her “ugly friend”. Asked how her relationship with her body was, she said: “Nowhere good. My relationship with my body has been a truly horrible, terrible thing since I was 11.
“I love that my body is mine and that it’s with me everywhere I go I kind of think of my body as my friend. My ugly friend! It’s complicated. But what are you gonna do?”
In other news – Huge blow for The Wife viewers as actress Mbalenhle Mavimbela (Hlomu) leaves the show
The talented actress who played the much-loved Hlomu, is said to be leaving the show, as – according to Phil Mphela – shooting the upcoming third season would not have been ideal for her. Learn more