3 Men Tell Us What It’s Really Like to Have a Small Pen!s

Pen!ses are a lot like snowflakes, in that no one is the same. There are big ones, small ones, medium ones, curvy ones, girthy ones, and, well, you get the point. “Pen!s sizes vary person to person based on genetics, hormone and testosterone levels, and ethnicity,” says urologist Koushik Shaw, MD. So, TBH, there are lots and lots and lots of different shapes and sizes.

With that said, though, the average penis size is 3.61 inches (9.2cm) and 5.16 inches (13.1cm) erect, according to the Wiley Online Library. But does size actually, really matter in the bedroom? Below, three men who identify as having a “small pen!s” settle the Q once and for all. (One is a black man, one is Indian and one is white)

You identify as having a small pen!s. How big is it?
Man A: Around five inches(12.7cm), but when it’s flaccid, it looks like it’s not even there, which is my real hang-up.

Man B: 4.1 inches (10.4cm) when erect and 1.6 (4cm) when flaccid.

Man C: Three inches (7.6cm) when erect.

When did you realize you were smaller than average?
Man A: I think around once I started watching p0rn in high school, I concluded that everyone else had a much longer pen!s.

Man B: In my early teens. When getting changed after swimming class when I was 13, I noticed that the other boys’ pen!ses were noticeably larger than mine. Mine looked tiny in comparison. I started paying more attention to other pen!ses and quickly realized that I had a small one.

Man C: Around 13, seeing other boys in the changing room. Seeing their larger pen!ses and pubic hair made me feel inferior. I felt like I needed to hide my gen!tals in order to avoid being singled out and bullied. I assumed I was just a late developer, but when I did finally get pubic hair when I was 15, my pen!s seemed to remain the same size.

boys in locker room

How did you feel about your pen!s size growing up?
Man A: I was always worried that it was small but I didn’t really have any way to know for sure until I got a computer.

Man B: I was embarrassed. I would get changed in locker rooms backed into the corner, constantly fearing that someone would see my pen!s and laugh.

Man C: I was shy about it and wanted it to be bigger. I didn’t try to go further than kissing girls because I felt my small pen!s would make me an object of ridicule at school and, later, with work colleagues.

And how do you feel about it now?
Man A: I am pretty ambivalent about the size of it now since I’ve gotten older. I’ve always managed to have a healthy amount of good s.e.x [regardless of size]. I thought of trying out herbs once for enlargement but the thought of irreversible damage scared me more.

Man B: I’ve come to slowly accept that having a small pen!s is something I can do little about and have to accept. I still don’t like getting changed in front of other men and still struggle to admit to having a small pen!s. However, I don’t feel the same complete embarrassment I felt growing up.

Man C: I’m happy with it now, as I developed a fetish for humiliation. I have a Twitter account about small pen!s humiliation, a recognized fetish where submissive men with small pen!ses are ridiculed and punished, usually by superior and dominant women. The women remain fully clothed while the men are stripped or feminized with makeup and lingerie and made to masturb@te or carry out demeaning tasks, such as chores or stripper-style dance routines.

In your experience, does size matter to the people you sleep with?
Man A: I think that it definitely does matter to your partner, but you can still please them if you are competent in bed (e.g., bringing your partner to org@sm). I also think confidence plays a big part in being a good partner. A lot of poor performance can come from anxiety.

Man B: I think it matters more to me than it does to them. However, I have never managed to make a woman org@sm through penetrative s.e.x. When I lost my virginity, I was very scared that my partner would laugh or leave, so I put off s.e.x initially. When we did have s.e.x, though, she didn’t say anything, and in our relationship, neither of us brought it up. Shortly after we broke up, I was on her Facebook page and noticed a conversation with her and two of her friends in which they joked about me having a “tiny pen!s.” I felt shocked and horrible for weeks afterward. Since then, I’ve made sure to talk about the issue with my partners rather than pretend the issue isn’t there.

Man C: Yes. I’ve had girls look visibly disappointed and tell their friends afterward. I once went home with a girl from a club who refused to sleep with me when she saw my pen!s. A week later, everybody at the club was talking about how small my pen!s is. I was distraught at the time but soon became aroused by the idea of girls laughing at it. It turns me on to think that these beautiful women know how small my pen!s is and think it couldn’t satisfy them, especially in a culture where we’re told that women desire large pen!ses. In addition to this, when I am in a relationship, I often fantasize about my partner lusting after men with large pen!ses and cuckolding me, making me watch them have s.e.x.

woman disappointed

What about socially, among other guys?
Man A: I’m sure it would matter if I were sleeping with other men, but for the most part, it doesn’t come up organically when you’re hanging out with the fellas.

Man B: I still feel the need to hide my pen!s from other guys, in locker rooms. Whenever I go to public toilets, I always use the cubicles and not the urinals. I have the problem in that my pen!s is small whilst erect but tiny when flaccid. It doesn’t seem socially acceptable in male culture to have a small pen1s. Having a large penis seems manly, whilst having a little one does not. Jokes amongst males are often made about having large pen!ses, and I’ve joined in through masculine obligation despite being aware of having a very small one.

Man C: I don’t think it matters much anymore. At school, it was an issue, but other than the occasional abusive message on Twitter (which doesn’t bother me), guys don’t really make fun of pen!s size much from what I see.

How does the size of your pen!s influence the way that you have s.e.x?
Man A: I am definitely much more eager to perform oral s.e.x before penetrative s.e.x. This stems out of concern that I might not pleasure my partners sufficiently through just intercourse.

Man B: Because the girth of my pen!s is also small, I prefer s.e.xual positions in which my partner’s v@gina feels tighter. My favorite is a variation on doggy-style, in which after I’ve put my pen!s inside her, she closes her legs and I have my legs open. This creates a tighter feeling and gives me more pleasure. I’ve never managed to make a woman orgasm through penetrative s.e.x, which means I spend a lot of time on foreplay, particularly oral s.e.x. My partner enjoys the fact that I spend so much time with my face between her legs! When she is on top, she positions herself farther backward than she says she typically would. This means my pen!s is pushed forward somewhat, which she says helps it go deeper inside her and push against the front of her vag!na more. I’ve also discovered that vibrating cock rings are friends.

Man C: I’m not too experienced, but missionary works okay. Doggy-style is okay if she leans back far enough. Girl-on-top is good for me, but they usually tell me that it doesn’t do anything for them. Spooning is no good—I’ve been asked a few times, “Is it in yet?” I once wore a strap-on for an ex. It was amazing seeing how differently she reacted to something so big in comparison.

Do you ever wish your pen!s were larger?
Man A: Of course, who wouldn’t want to have a much bigger pen!s? I’m ultimately comfortable with my size now in the grand scheme of things, but if given the opportunity, I would change it.

Man B: Yes. I think I have suffered a low self-esteem because of having a small pen!s, but I’m trying to become less embarrassed by it and embrace it more. Talking it through with my girlfriend and getting the impression she really doesn’t mind has made me feel better. We have a healthy s.e.x life and the culture we live in, of “big being better,” doesn’t tell the whole story. I have a small pen!s and I’m learning to be satisfied with it and accept it. Maybe one day, I will even be proud of it.

Talk to your partner

Man C: I used to, but not anymore. I became comfortable with it through the discovery of small pen!s humiliation, realizing that there was a recognized niche for what I have and what I enjoy s.e.xually. As strange as it may sound, I’d actually like to reduce my size, if possible. I’ve looked into the possibility of dietary methods and physical exercises that could make my pen!s smaller, but apart from surgery, which I wouldn’t consider, there isn’t anything that will reduce it.

Is there anything you think people should know about guys with small pen!ses?
Man A: It’s more common than you’d think. Men with “average” pen!ses and smaller pen!ses probably outnumber men with very large pen!ses.

Man B: Don’t be put off, and be honest. If a guy has a small pen!s, he probably feels self-conscious about it. Put him at ease and it will probably make s.e.x better for both of you. Oh, and try to avoid affectionate nicknames. My partner referred to my pen!s as “Wee Willie Winkie” once, and it didn’t go down well!

Man C: If you’re with somebody with a small pen!s, get to know him and make sure he gets to know you. Try to find things that work for you both. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or say if something isn’t working for you. I’d also like to say that despite my small pen!s and humiliation fetish, I’m actually a happy and outgoing person.

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